I cannot concentrate.

Shout it on the rooftops(!)

I'm getting out of here.

I'm in pursuit of someone that left. Hopefully I'll see her beautiful face tomorrow @ 9 pm...Colorado time.


All of Colorado--run for the hills...
the crayons are coming.

thank you for your encouragement, I made it through the game.
Something I had anticipated as just one incredibly long night turned out to be... an incredibly long night.

BUT, in addition--it was surprisingly fun. Everyone played acceptionally well; I had some pretty sets to come down on. Which, completed my night. We played in a gym instead of on the grassy fields in the bright, glaring sun. Gyms are 10x better then the outdoors. The floors are slidable and the enthusiasm doubles when surrouned by the proper settings.

The majority of the crowd was cheering for the opposing teams. Which, made the victory....all the sweeter.
For the second year in a row...we've won the tournament.

game day.

"we are the champions, my friends."

I'll go down with this ship.

add that to my list...

I want to go mud sliding.

before bungee jumping.

I'm getting tired of things being just spoken. I realize that's a broad statement. So, I'll narrow it down just a bit.

When people say the same phrases continuously...to everyone. It seems to lose its original significance. Especially when it is not followed up by any sort of action confirming the words. For instance, my boss tells me "thank you" every time I work. Which, is a wonderful habit and I appreciate that he does that. But, after I saw him say the same exact thing to the slackers it lost a lot of its impact.

When I know that something is only being repeated mechanically to me it makes me feel lousy.

I'm still thinking about it. Perhaps I'll come back with some sturdier ideas on the matter. For the time being I am very tired. But, I wanted to get that thought written out. It's not a complete thought really because I'm not entirely convinced on what I think about it just yet. I will come back to it eventually. It will be swimming in my head for a while.

I just have ever so much to do...

drip, drip, drop(!)

It rained today.

Unexpectedly, the sound of the raindrops brought back a memory of this game I always begged Mr. F to let us play at Youth Group. It was called "Drip, drip, drop." The name explains the game.

But, Mr. F would continuously make excuses [valid ones] about how no one would want to get wet. I was always disappointed with everyone. The idea of getting splashed with an entire cup of water and then jumping up in frantic pursuit of the "dripper" was very thrilling for me. Apparently very few shared my opinion. Instead, it appeared they wanted to altogether avoid the opportunity of getting wet with water and being chased around in the cold night's air. I wonder why...

Such a game gives me happy chills.

Any sort of activity or sport involving running has always drawn me in. This game is no exception.

If you ever want to play--give me a holler and I'll come running. (:

merry-go-round

To summarize how I'm feeling right now I'll use something Emma said yesterday that I found particularly funny. It was one of those "you had to be there" things. So, don't feel bad and run away weeping, or bang your head against the wall in frustration when you can't see any humor in the following statement.

"You guys need to get out of this environment."

I needed that laugh. I still smile when I think about it. Thanks, Emma.


the countdown is still going.
7ish days.
26ish days.
I added the "ish" because my siblings can testify to how badly I am at counting days. I fail at determining amounts of hours, minutes, days, years...etc. Thus, I supplied a reasonable doubt to my aforementioned statement of days.


boo ya. I'm flying away...

late night overload

I had the impression that once I mastered some techniques I might find I enjoy some of my classes. Unfortunately, I've yet to see real...draw or pull...in any of my subjects. Instead I find myself rather discouraged [at times] by the mountain load of homework that piles up so easily. I'm just trying to stay on top of it with my flag planted declaring "this is my land."

Otherwise, it'll bury me.

I am enjoying filling out my accounting set. Besides the part where I have to figure out where everything goes. I like writing. Neatly printing each number and word in the appropriate spots.

It's sort of like coloring in the lines in a coloring book. Except, at a much more advanced level.

I normally write on notebook paper--I like to have the lines to follow. I adore lines. So, imagine my entirely enthralled mind at the prospect of an entire accounting book with lines. Actually, I wasn't that excited. In fact, it's pathetic that this is the only thing I find a little amount of joy in pertaining to school.

But, I'm looking.

I really do like lines. Mmm. Lines are there for protection, instruction...etc.

Despite my first impression, if we continue to be required to print neatly and within lines in my accounting class--I may just have a little bit of "fun."

"good game"

Ah, volleyball.

We won tonight. But, the victory was tainted for me. Nevertheless, that said, I won't go any further on my blog. I only wanted to mention that: winning isn't everything.

I think we get distracted easily. We complicate that which is simple or over simplify something that is complex. I've probably lost you now. I'm only stating half thoughts.

But, sometimes silence is the best option.

Yet again--half thought.
maybe tomorrow I'll write a full one.

it's getting chilly outside.

*big grin*

when every dream you've ever had is gone

Just a few moments ago I ran down a sandy path; momentarily glancing behind me every-once-in-a-while to watch my dusty trail drifting up into the air.

At one point I paused and looked ahead of me. My eyes swept across the wide expansion of land and directly towards a clump of trees holding their own on the acres of land. The sun was close to setting and had just ducked behind the trees. Their towering figures cast wild shadows onto the green-as-green can be grass. The sunlight glittered and glowed and sparkled behind the trees and the colors of fall stuck out in beautiful array.

I think it is pretty terrific the way each season is wonderfully unique.

"praise God from whom all blessings flow..."

and then there were three of us.

The Hopester and "Lovable Luke" are in my charge. Well, not really; but, I pretend to have some sort of authority over them while my parents are away.

In a few moments I'm going to prepare the spaghetti my mom pre-made for us. I say, for today, we throw out the rule that dinner must be eaten later in the evening. "With a heave and a ho and a mighty throw..." In other parts of the world it is later. Thus, we eat dinner when I say we eat dinner. Which, is when I am hungry. Consequently, that could cause somewhat of a problem since I am always hungry. But, we'll neglect that little bit of information in order to come back to the conclusion that: yes, I should make dinner now.

I will do just that.

What eyes can see

I really can be a dangerous driver because I get distracted easily by what's outside my window. Ah, but not by the myriad of cars that are whizzing past nor by the billboards and signs that clutter the street sides. Not even because that sign says: Free ice-cream. Get it now.

"For the beauty of the earth. For the glory of the skies..."

This morning I drove home from a friend's house around six-thirty. When I stepped outside I could see a thick blanket of fog coating the yard and surrounding yards. Once I got into my car, I noticed the effect it had had on my windshield. I turned on my windshield wipers and my view was suddenly clearer. But, within ten seconds it was fogged up again. Sighing heavily, I decided to proceed with driving home with an extra ounce of alertness. I did my old woman huddle, sitting really far up and close to the window and peering over the dashboard as I drove, trying to see through the haze.

After five minutes of driving in this position my windshield began to get less and less foggy. I settled back in my seat only to move abruptly again to peer out my side window. As the condensation (I'm not very good with this sort of thing--I'm guessing it was condensation--correct me oh wise ones) dissipated off my side windows I was startled by what I could now view. Hazy orange and red streaks were vi sable all throughout the sky. But, it was the effect of the fog that brought my mind reeling into awe. I was driving past some fields and about a foot off the ground all around were whispy clouds of fog. My eyes strained to see the things that recessed deeper into the fog. I wanted to get out and run through it--feeling the clammy, cool touch of air + moisture. But, I resisted the temptation and kept on driving. Although, much more distracted now then ever. The sky was brilliant colors still and the fields were covered in this mysterious substance. The black pavement of the road held little appeal to my eyes in comparison to the rest of the world that lay around me.

Nevertheless, the road was what I concentrated on for a time and now I've made it home safe and sound. The warm glow of the sun is making its grand appearence and the fog has retreated for the time being. What was once hidden by hazy clouds is now clearly visable by the light of the sun.

What a glorious fall morning. I love clouds and the way they cloak the earth. But, what I marvel at the most is the way the sun ALWAYS triumphs. It always shines forth. Perhaps it looks as if it won't at times; but, here it comes--up, up, and up.

"The heavens declare the glory of God."

Indeed they do.

visors and nametags

I'm back to the familiar grind of working Saturdays at Chick-fil-a.

It's normally bearable until the clock reaches one pm. Repeatedly, each week, I dramatically perform a count down for my fellow co-workers. I voice the hour and the minute from time to time--either to depress them or to make them excited about the approaching clock-out time. From one until four my countenance undergoes a dramatic change from enthusiastically happy to barely energetic. I have more of a in and out mentality with my customers after 1 pm. Order.Pay.Go.


Today was a half-happy day.


First of all, my regulars are very friendly which makes serving them "a pleasure." I've made it a point to remember their orders and to have them ready before they reach the counter. Today, my first customer of the day was a regular. I had his coffee, one brown sugar packet + stirrer sitting neatly in front of me when he approached. His familiar "You're on the ball today" greeted me. He's says it each week. All my regulars are older gentlemen with fading memories.


Second of all, I was still carrying over some sort of wound-up energy from the night before. Apparently something made me happy and kept me happy for over 24 hours. But, it faded slowly at work as the time dragged on.


Thirdly, I worked with Leah. Which, is always a joy.



...and now I'm home and going to change out of these smelly chicken clothes.
feel free to visit me sometime at Chick-fil-a. I'll be there--eight to four on Saturdays.

"Have a nice day."

I finished up a draft I started the other day and posted it. I kept checking to see if it had popped up. Finally, after submitting it three times and still not seeing any results on my page--I gave up. I set my mind to coming back later to see if it had randomly decided to appear while I was gone.

Yes, ladies in gentlemen, it appeared. Apparently it posted the first time I pushed "submit." Although, I wasn't quite quick enough to realize it posted under the date which I had begun to write it on. So, if you scroll down--to October first--you will see a new[er] post on the funeral. Just a few pictures.

The two top pictures are to my credit. But, the rest were not taken by me.

WHO AM I?

Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cell's confinement
calmly, cheerfully, firmly
like a Squire from his country house

Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me
I bored the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
struggling for breath, as though hands were
compressing my throat,
Yearning for colours, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighbourliness,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint, and ready to say farewell to it all.

Who am I? This or the Other?
Am I one person to-day and to-morrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army?
fleeing in disorder from VICTORY ALREADY ACHIEVED?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of
mine.
Whoever I am, Thou Knowest, O God, I am thine!
--Dietrich Bonhoeffer [written from a prison cell]

break time.

Break time reminds me of cracking [breaking] emotionally + physically. It's the point where you're just about to break--so you take a break in order not to break.

Yes, I realize that made little sense. I am finding it more and more difficult to communicate clearly as the hours pass. I've been studying the day away and I feel as if I have not even scratched the surface on what I need to know for my exams tomorrow. Life has been consumed by the horror of hours on end spent reading, memorizing and cramming information, I don't necessarily wish to know, into my head.

I'm almost to my breaking point.

Just a warning...

I think I'm about to blow up.

wow. that would be something else.

Put it in my obituary when I go. "Anna blew up on October the second, 2007."

By the way--until yesterday I thought it was two thousand and eight. I've been living a year ahead of myself.

maybe I've already passed my breaking point.

Pictures from a funeral

Black and white shots of people dressed in black... and little white.

I had the impression that previous sentence would be fun to write. It doesn't make much sense. That's all right, I know you'll live-- even in the midst of reading such confusion.

Jared and Faith; once again appearing in public as the most beautiful young couple. I am slightly biased.

my favorite brother.

and my family.

dance me into the night...

Isn't it strange how fast something can change?

It only takes a moment and everything can be turned upside down & around.

For example: Saturday morning I was feeling relatively healthy for the most part. Unfortunately, that afternoon, right after having eaten an entire meal of delicious goodness, I fell prey to some illness or another. As soon as I arrived home I fell into bed and practically stayed there for two days literally moaning+groaning wishing death would take me.

At the same time, it only takes a split second for something wondrously marvelous to happen too. Yes, sickness can and may be credited for a good thing since it is when we are weak that we see God's strength evident. However, from a sinful human's point of view, when I refer to something "wondrously marvelous" happening--I mean something like: inheriting a castle, flying to Colorado, toothpick races, or glimpsing the first snowflake falling from the sky.

For example: I had my devotion this afternoon and something "wondrously marvelous" happened. I saw what I had not seen before. In a way, I had seen "it" before. But--it never hit me the way it struck me today. Everything seemed a little clearer.

I'm feeling much better now. In fact, besides this rather awkward looking swollen lip I am re cooperating rather well. And even this swollen lip can be made into something rather humorous. I went to school today and between attempting to not fall asleep + concentrating so hard on not letting anyone glimpse my horrid dis figuration I didn't get many clear notes taken. However, I did have a good Ole time thinking of some explanations for it. I had a scenario created in my mind just in case anyone asked me what had happened to cause such horrible swelling. Don't worry--I wasn't and didn't say that you beat me up. But, I thought about it.

Sometimes I see things as bad--when really, when you look at it from a new perspective...it flips into something good. Depending on how you "roll with the punches" life could be either very miserable or a fun adventure. Rely on Christ and in His strength and the rest will fall into place.

thank you Jesus for healthy days! I've missed them very much. But, perhaps each + every time I get sick is just another reminder that I am blessed with many days in which I AM NOT SICK.

that makes me smile. (: