Thursday, June 14, 2007

When I'm sick the one thing I cannot and will not do willingly is take a nap or lay around.

I hate the fact that I am weak when I am sick. So, I try to ignore the problem. Which, is never a good thing.

I attempt to do all that is in my power to trick my body into thinking it is not indeed weaker or suffering from germ attack.
This starts with the clever ploy of deceiving my mind. I get up in the morning and tell myself over+over again that my symptons have cleared up a bit and I'm feeling a little stronger. I keep this in mind as I start my daily routines. I ignore the cough, the way my bones all seem to cry out in agony, the pile of used tissues that only keeps growing, and the overwhelming sense of dizzyness when I move too quickly.
Instead of declining a day at the beach I go with the expectation of happiness at the end of the day.

Unfortunately, I have only mastered tricking my mind to a certain extent.
Thus, right now, I admit that I am in pain. And that I should not do crazy stunts like going to the beach and then going to a dinner party when I have just aqquired a sickness. I tried with futile attempts to tell myself I was feeling fine on the way home from the dinner party tonight. I tried to ignore the haziness that seemed to envelop my mind.
I felt like I was going to drive into a ditch on the way home.
I never want to feel that way again.

And so, like a "good girl" I'm going to go to bed and try my hardest not to pull anything too incredibly "sneaky" tomorrow. Because it all kind of crashes in on you at the end of the day.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's a bummer to miss things when you're sick-but I find it a peaceful respite in my busy life. I think God uses sickness to slow us down. Read Anne of Green Gables-my fav. book when sick:-)